The magic is in the locks

In 1996, I was 23.

I had big afro-like chesnut hair. A big personality. A big mouth. A big smile. Big dreams.

Everyday was a bad hair day. Not manageable. Wild. A mind of its own.

But still, I was called The Boss. I was the posse leader.

A few years later I left my family home. I started my adult life. And cut my hair shorter and shorter. Straighten it every once in a while. Change colour. My hair was still qualified “unusual” but it didn’t define me anymore.

In 2020, I was 47. My hair was very short. Greyish blonde. Tamed. Almost common. I lived in the middle of nowhere. I felt like the middle of nothing. No more big hair. No more posse. My head was full of nostalgia. Remorse. The crisis had been going on for a while.

In 2020 the whole world has been locked-down. For weeks. Then months. Fiction became reality. We were forced to stay in our homes.

We could only go out briefly to feed ourselves. With masks and gloves first to protect eachothers. Then we all had to carry a personal QR code on our phones. Interaction with family and friends was limited to Facetime and social medias.

They said it wouldn’t last forever. But after a month, it became quite obvious we were living history and everyday life would never be the same.

My mid-life crisis mingled with the universe crisis.

My family and professional problems shifted. Was it just a step sideways I wondered.

In 2020, I was given too much free time to handle.

I thought about all the decisions I had made which gave structure to the film of my existence. I considered the whole scenario, staging and production.

More than ever, I didn’t want to move forward to start a new chapter. I wanted to rewind, and start again. Start afresh.

I wanted to have long afro hair again.

20 thoughts on “The magic is in the locks

  1. Are they your drawings, Vero? They fit your part so well. Big hair was the fashion for a time. I wasn’t such a fan but I did wear shoulder pads!!
    This will end. Can yo not how it without gloves/masks at all?


    1. No I wish they were my drawings but I found them all on Pinterest ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Right now gloves and masks are not compulsory but it seems it will be the next step.
      When you say this will end, I envy your confidence !

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with you. Now, which way will it be? And how long will it take? What jobs will we have left? What education system? What medical system? What economy?…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. dangerous thinking, to go back in our previous selves, before family, before obligations..have you deleted Instagram? wanted to drop you a msg, couldn’t find you. maybe you can let your hair grow again? we are all in a mess, but it’ll change. we’ll get better again:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know you’re right. I’ve always been a very nostalgic person.
      For Instagram, look for “monsoonfamilyzmum”. That’s my personal account and we’ll be able to chat again ๐Ÿฅฐ

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you still have a big personality ๐Ÿ™‚ it comes across in your posts !!
    It’s sometimes nice to look back in nostalgia, reminds you what has made you feel good so you can apply it again only it would feel even better now, because of life and experience ๐Ÿ™‚ so, will you grow your hair again? ๐Ÿ™‚
    likewise, I was thinking lately that I rarely wear bright red lipstick like I used to before (that is face masks aside lol…) so I ordered a couple today, along with red hair dye lol… fun times are ahead, Vero ๐Ÿ™‚
    and yes, you write so well ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve put on some pastel pink on my hair last weekend! Maybe this time, I’ll manage to resist for a few years to have it cut…
      Thank you Lovely for your comments xxx


    1. We need a derogation, written by each individual, each time we leave our homes to explain why we’re out. Now, this derogation can be filled up on the internet and a mobile version is then dowloaded on our phones. The derogation generates a QR code which can be checked by the police.
      Right now the paper version is enough but I think individual QR codes will become the norm soon…


      1. I see. Not quite the same as China then. They have a Red, Yellow & Green designation, indicating what type of isolation order they’re under. eg. RED where they’re not allowed out of their home at all, Yellow when they can only go out for essentials within their neighborhood and Green when they have unrestricted movement.
        These restrictions on movement have such unpleasant undertones, even though we understand the rationale and reasoning. I hope they keep you well and look forward to when it’s all lifted.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this, although it hurt my heart to read. To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes, “Anxiety comes from living in the past or in the future.” In the present, there’s no anxiety, it’s just that we so rarely step into the moment. Then again, I think we could argue that COVID-times mean that suddenly present = anxiety x 1,000!

    P.S. – I would love to know who did the artwork!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right in time with that remark about present = anxiety x 1,000. France is back in semi-lockdown for at least 4 weeks.

      Anyyyyway, the artwork was all on Pinterest -unfortunately, for many of them, the artist wasn’t named ๐Ÿ˜ฆ


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